We Your Children

Okay, some prom photos. My blog looks naked w/o pictures hahah.

Anw, our years’ prom program was super good ^^
There were like prizes for everyone haha. & the location was good as well ^^

Zuoen, Jieying & I

I like this picture haha! Idk why either maybe light v nice I think..

Siying & I! Her dress’ from Japan k, dont play play.

Siying, sperm and I (haha sperm’s her nickname uh.. sounds crude but used to it alr)

Asyikin w the mask (v nice eh, cos colourful^^ haha)

HAHA Ms Crescentian has to dance w the best dressed male teacher!! (he was sabo-ed by everyone HAHAHA)

Ok the dancing (aka clubbing) part hahah.

Sam tan and her super hot dress ^^ ~ Hahaha

Jovina!

Our dresses were from the same place and I tried on this one she was wearing too but I preferred the one I was wearing HAHA thank god I didnt buy hers lol.

Okay, hahah too many pictures from prom I lazy to post also haha.
That’s all for now (: More pictures next time.

Excited for tmr!! Hope it’ll be good ^^

Anw, I was just thinking about a few things on my long bus ride today.
I even took out my qt book to write lol. Then during the whole bus ride I was super bad spirited & “bad mood” in a way cos I was settling some things w God. But when I got down I was a changed person!! woaho!

Okay anyway, I was just thinking
“If you’re mean to someone, you’re actually being used by the devil and is the devil towards the person.”

I dont know what word I can use to substitute “mean”, but you get what I mean

lol ok maybe smth like, bad luh.. rude, sacarstic, all the bad things you can do – no matter how big or small it is.

From the persons POV, he might feel angry, sad, insecure etc etc & in his mind, he’ll be trying to battle it out w what to react – in a godly manner, or like what his emotions make him feel like doing. So it’s like a struggle against satan and God.

So anw, main point is, if you don’t wanna be someone used by satan, don’t be mean to people. Have a good heart! <3
Sounds so cliche right haha, but yeah. Get the pre-perceptions outta your mind (& sorry my eng no good :/ )

And the next thing is, I believe we all should have a reason for everything. (doing something, saying something, acting in a certain way, reacting in a certain way; basically everything.)

Really, I think I've been kinda trained/taught to do that till now, subconsciously, I do that in my head when making decisions.

Cos if there's anything you do that doesn't flow w godly principles, then it just means you shouldnt do it.
Like maybe even reacting cos you feel sad/discouraged/angry..

There's a few reactions we can choose to give when bad things happen to us and affects us:
Option #1: Choose to sulk and show black face the whole day.
Option #2: Think about the people around me and at least be more mature in my reactions. (for eg, if you're in a mcg w visitors, you'd just make sure that the atmosphere isn't dampened right? well not just in mcg, works in many situations.)

Well yeah, you might say that "Because she said this this this about me and she even did blablabla, & she don't even bother saying sorry or feel apologetic & expect me to clean up this mess!" (this quote thing is entirely not based on anything lol it just sounds good)

But then it becomes like we're focusing on the problem instead of God already.
Though I know, focusing on God and not the problem/issue at hand takes quite abit of maturity so sometimes its hard to redirect the focus.. But if you're principled enough, it would be easier to get through things. Like much easier.

So in that kinda situation, it'd be better to think in terms of, "Why did I feel this way?" or if you reacted, "Why did I react this way?"
Then you can trace back to see if you were actually God-conscious or not. Hahah.

Like maybe cos #1 I feel angry, its unreasonable, crap!!!
or #2 I am actually proud. Afraid to lose face. Insecure. Not doing well. lol

Ah you get what I mean.

Which is why one way I learn is through watching and observing people. Well mostly Winnie, Jo Lee, the leaders etc.
I'd look at their actions/reactions/things they say/way they say or do things and then try to link it back to the principle behind it.

So next time in the same situation, I'd know what I can do or what I should not do. & It also teaches me principles. Unspoken ones. Lol. Or maybe just not taught yet haha.
But it helps, you should try!! (& make your eyes and brains more useful too)

Oh I learnt smth new from Yiqin & Desmond over dinner after dance:
If you know you're easily tempted by smth, don't go near that thing! Lol.
And I realised Desmond does ask good questions more and more hahah.
Which tells me, that I've gotta keep growing too!!

Anw this brings me to a topic: the M party.

Hahah. Well I'd really wanted to go.. Cos idk, I'm kinda interested/attracted by these kinda things which is I think bad lol.

But I realised I didnt really have a purpose/reason for going.
(this reason means the real reason, the core reason. not who's going or what's happening, that's kinda secondary)

Then I thought of one, which was to experience the atmosphere, as exposure for myself etc. Lol afterwhich I realised was kinda crappy..
Cos well yeah.. That was partly why I wanted to go, but I guess there were other hidden motives in me as well. Which I am still not sure what, but it doesnt feel good lol.

Cos I'd definitely NOT wanna go there and dance like those people or wtv.. Neither do I wanna drink (eh i think it really smells gross yknow, like it's really a torture to down that thing ohmagwd) & worst of all get drunk.

Well I know what are NOT my motives, but I dont know what ARE my motives. Lol so in the end I just decided I shouldnt go & risk having something go wrong..

But I still do wanna experience the thingy though.. ):

Maybe I shall find people w the same goal (lol) and then go tgt hahah.
Anw I realised, even during prom the dancing part (where everyone was going high and turning that what, 5m by 2m dancefloor into a clubbing ground) I didnt really feel the 'highness' of it lol. I was busy taking pictures of people HAHA. (feel the passionz manzz)

Cos v stupid, everyone was just jumping to the music. That's not dancing?! (okok, some were dancing.. I guess. In a way la yknow the typical wooohoo-wave-hands-in-air dance lol)

Jump, in svc jump better hahah. I got plenty of experience w jumping to the music man. I club in svc every saturday HAHA.

Aiyuh no luh but really quite sad, though everyone did have fun (:
As for me, I shall just keep growing and growing till I am mature enough to do new things (:

Ok pretty long post, but I enjoyed it haha.
GOODNIGHT Y'ALL! Waha, 356am si le si le :S

This year’s prom was good
Well at least there was fun in it, not some boring ol’ dinner..

Haha and I’m quite proud of myself that I managed to get everything I need for prom only on the day of prom itself
Dress, shoes, accessories, make up, hairstyling etc etc.

Pwn or what HAHA.
It was super chiong. At 4pm I just got my dress + accessories and the shoes couldn’t be worn!!
Then I had to rush to get my make up and hair done & prom starts at 6pm!
But anyway, managed to get everything done in the end and went in late HAHA.
(i dont know how to upload pictures onto wordpress!)

Ok anyway, just for the joy of it: I’m removing my braces next month OMGICANTWAITLIKEFINALLYYYYYYYYY UGH.

It has become a part of me, even people can tell (or rather can’t tell), asking questions like, “HUH?! You got braces?!” Even when they’ve known me for quite a while. Hahah. But I dont blame them, cos even me myself dont notice them anymore. How sad.

Poor neglected braces.

I think my teeth’s gonna feel naked and weak after they’re removed lolol. Like, “Crap! Where’s my bra?!”
HAHAH (central shpds will get what i mean)

Too bad too bad too bad for yer nyeheh!

Ok I’m just rambling, its quite fun though haha.

Anw, I think God is awesome today
Yay I dont know why & I dont know how to explain, but he helped me alot today ^^ (In just a bus ride- which took quite long in the jam)

Ok, dance tmr at 930!!
Byebye cya folks!

Hahah it’s 402am now @ my house w Benjamin Button playing, Winnie & Jo Lee & Liyi sleeping on the sofa, Buanhua and Joey sleeping in the rooms.

Fatninjas’re staying over today hahah. I dont think we can be called ‘ninjas’ anymore huh. ^^

Anyway, today was a superr busy dayyyyyyy.
Basically my whole day was lined w activities back to back. Hahah.
So much so that there wasnt time for lunch and dinnerrr!

But oh, just now we cooked maggi mee + toasted luncheon meat + toasted cheesy sausage! Nice nice ^^

Hahah ok my eye rings are super bad, I attempted to do my acts qt thing just a while ago but I couldnt help dozing off! But when I use com its a different thing idk why hahah.

But nvm, I’m going to bed now.. Otherwise imma get hives again ):
(slept at 3+am woke up at 8am yst, slept at 3+am the night before, woke up 630am, slept at 4am today…..)

SEEYAZ
oh i love my life now HAHA
rocks like mad lol
update again soon about Friday

I realised.. That I have nothing much to blog about anymore.
Haha. If it’s about things I learnt or think about, it’ll go into my QT book first.
Once it’s there, I wont bother blogging anything out anymore.
If it’s about knowledge stuff, then it seems to me a bit redundant, cos… idk, im not a textbook..? (though I like those stuff..)
If it’s about encouragements in general, then I find that once I share my source of drive/motivation, then the actual thing is nulled. HAHA.
Like it doesnt work anymore.. lol.

Sounds quite stupid but it makes sense hahah.

Ok but anyway there’s this one thing that I’m sorta keeping in mind (for myself) & that I find is really quite good (:
Helps to keep me on track and make sure I come back to God.

WannnanoWannnano?? ^^

teehee, let me tell you about its origins first HAHA.
Okay anw, cos I was feeling very cui & lethargic again (that irritating feeling i always get!!) because of many many small issues that add up tgt to form one big block.

Then I realised, that Satan had been using my weakness against me for the past dont know how many weeks/months. & I stupidly keep falling into it & not knowing that I did..

Problem being, I dwell too much on my emotions – not being emo and slashing wrists kind – but like, keep thinking too much & then subconsciously coming to a self-afflicting conclusion that does no good. The worst thing is, it’s subconscious you see. So I thought I am smart by thinking through issues very deeply – too deeply – but I end up also harming my own emotional health in a way.

Satan sucks right? Smart like anything.

OKAY, YEAH. This is the smart idea
Hahah it’s the idea of the ‘God’ as an atom and ‘Cleo’ as another atom.
And together, we form diatomic molecules!

Like the oxygen atoms.
We have strong covalent bonds between our atoms (:

So like, whatever that bad things that happen in my life, they are the heat energy, breaking the weak Van Der Waals forces between my molecules..
But whatever it is, the strong covalent bonds should not break!
Only the Van Der Waals can, so that I can grow and be mouldable (:

Yep, so I CANNOT be so careless as to ‘let’ my strong covalent bonds break (which shouldnt cos its supposed to be strong).

It keeps me on track in the sense that I make sure that everything that comes, I am still strongly bonded with ‘God’ atom (:

Eh it really helps okay hahah.
You can try it if it isn’t too science-y for you (:

But anyway, that’s the side-effects of studying too hard (:
It overflows. Hahaha.

(I hope sharing this won’t null the effects of it on me. :/ Dont know how come it will but it just does…. lol)

Sigh, O’s are ending soon.
I’m aching for it to end nowww ):

Haha. Not because of it in itself, but because I keep seeing the things that I’m gonna do after O’s.. Heh.
Distraction right. I know..

Actually, I am kinda enjoying the process of O’s. Teehee..
Like enjoying the process of studying and mugging w God?
It’s such a pain to study when you’re like thinking of playing and enjoying all those stuff, srsly. Haha.

I realised my mind can’t focus.. ):
Ok but that was like Sec 1-2+ around there. Haha cos I’ll obviously think of playing over studying right..
But until I met God and He shifted the whole paradigm of my life (:
Haha so it’s been better cos now can study better.

But now I see so many of the lower sec people, super hardworking man! Like, studying is their passion or smth?
Haha, they can sit down in the library themselves and do their work at that level (sec1&2) haha.

Super cool people haha. If I were them I’d be playing and doing crazy stuff like mad. Thank God I have God now lol (:
Oh wait, actually I did play for a while. But after that, stopped.

Oh man, it was havoc. Hahah. But now it’s havoc in the right way (Y)
See if you have God you can do the same things just that it’ll be a good thing! HAHA that was just a random statement that fitted my situation. But quite cool huh.

Ok this is just a random post to get me warmed up for my post O’s
But anw, I’m really excited for post O’s (:
Like, I can really be full on in ministry and stuff
Dance, CG, party 4eva haha, many other stuff.
Oh well, better get to studying now.

4 more papers left!!!
Chinese P1, P2
Physics P1, Chem P1

Yay then it’s overrr
*crap gotta get prom dress..

Heheh, during QT I was writing to Daddy.G then I felt very gay, so I started writing stuff that rhymed

But anw, lemme share it with you sec 4s out there!
Even if the papers that had just passed seemed so cui and shingz HAHA (sorry i just watched ris low’s video), jiayou for the final few to come!

You’d never know what paper 1s can do! (:

Dear God,
Through this period of O’s,
I’ll turn to look for your toes
For there’s nothing i cannot defeat
If I obediently wait at your feet.

God I pray & seek with all my heart and soul,
That you will hear me and won’t say No.
Oh how good you are to me,
Through these years I must admit
That now I know I’m safe in your hands -
Forever in your plan.

Victory is sweet & I know I’m it (:
For all who work with you will see that it is true:
Victory is in our hands just as we are in yours.

No matter what they say, God you lead the way.
I pray the next 10 papers will taste just like waters!
For you are the honey, oh my dear daddy
Please keep me in prayer, I’ll see you later!

Yeah ^^ Oh well, try to make sense out of it haha if you can..
But I really felt encouraged and all after writing this to God.
So yeah, hope it encourages you too!!

Okay, a short update:
Past few papers were OOKKAYY..
Not too bad, not too good.
Chem was O.O what kinda questions man hahha.

Okay anw I shld go rest already.
I just fell sick. I was doing my phy and geog with my brain clogged up with phlegm, mucus and what not.
Haha ok, renting get well soon too!

Gonna sleep/read chinese now
Goodnight

Sigh, I want to do something, but I’m always stuck at the same stage, over and over again.

WHY!!!!

It’s infuriating.
I get the motivation, inspiration, burden, drive, but always when I’m at the front line and something screws up, all these go back down to square 1 again.
I’ve got so many things to complain about tsk tsk. Not like it will help actually.. But still..

I gotta do smth abt it! Spot the problem and target it head on!
Seriously…

Shouldnt be taking so long.. Whats the deal..?

Sigh, we shall see in time to come /:S

I loved today’s fatninjas!

Finally managed to put into words (and actually make sense), what had been in my mind for so long.
Haha was about the newer generation of people (in central c as far as I know). Haha.

And I feel so happy that I’ve people to think with me also hahah.
Normally these kinda thoughts of mine get dismissed v quickly cos I cant speak/ share my thoughts as well as it is in my brain ^^ and thus just cast aside.

But I feel enlightened, abit more contented and secured after that whole brain-draining process.

Haha what differences do you see in the older vs newer generation?
As in their way of doing things, thinking, everything..
(older defined as maybe sec 4 and above and or came to yhope early 2006- late 2007, younger defined as sec 3s and below & or joined yhope in quarter 2008-2009)

I srsly think its very different hahaha. Yay share share what has been on your mind!

I think the thought process itself is already so different :/
& what I’d do for myself in a situation now, wouldn’t help for them if they’re in the same situation. Pretty much luh.

Ok anw, thank god for you all fatninjas! For being participative and also contributing and focused tgt!
oh and I’ll make sure I get the meeting time right next time :S

Anw apart from those…..
Sigh, I’m afraid the chance of me getting 6 points is getting slimmer.. I hope I was that chance…
But yeah, I only got one positively sure A1 and 1 positively sure A2. That makes 3!!! Omg the rest (chem, phy, lit, comb. humans, chinese) if I get all B3s, I’ll get 15 or 16!!!! That’s super high D:

A realistic target is 11 or 12. Which means.. I cant get into AC D:
ENNUIIIII..!

Ok faster go study now.
Bye bye!

If you happen to be reading this and will be taking O’s in 15 DAYS TIME, go get studying!!!!! (oh my goodness, it’s 15 days!!!!)

Was pretty inspired by today’s sermon

If I can’t make it into JC or if im going to Poly i’d consider the early childhood course thing. Hahah.

Really man, I think young people deserve so much more!!
This thought came when I was reflecting (like really reflecting) about when I was much younger, like a toddler that time.. What I said, what my parents and adults said to me etc. (Yes, I can rmb..)

I was a pretty inquisitive child as much as I rmbed.
Or maybe every child goes through this “irritating stage” as parents would call it.
We would keeeeeep asking, “why? but why? huh but how?”
And they’d get fed up and just ignore us or brush us aside.

Well I was like that. Haha. I used to ask my mum tons of questions, even really simple ones to me at that time. (imagine, what I felt was simple AT THAT TIME, is surely very simple lol)
To some of the questions, I knew roughly the answer, but I still asked, because I wanted to know the “model answer” & how she said it.
cute right me ^^

Hahah, no but really.
And I was genuinely wanting to know more. But I always felt very irritated when I’m brushed aside by my parents, thinking that im too young to know such cheem things.

And now to kids or probably age 4 or 5, I see adults talking to them like as if they’re very dumb. Well they may not be smart, but I dont think they’re dumb.

When I was that age I knew what was embarrassment when I’m talked about in family gatherings, I knew what was sarcasm – but i chose to ignore it and act stupid and do it, I knew where I stood as a child in adults eyes. And actually, we already know how to lie.

So why do adults treat young children so unfairly man..?
The curious stage is really a good stage of learning man i tell you.
Even though we don’t get the whole idea or understand the whole reason, when questions are answered, it trains the thinking process.
And with perseverance of answering questions, the thought process can be formed! Making the child smarter

Really man. Haha. I remembered how I used to think in the past.
Like yknow the ATM machine right.
Everyone puts money in and everyone can withdraw from the machine.
I used to ask, “Can bluff them you got more money, then you can take out more?”
Then she was like, cannot lah!
But my thinking was like “But everyone put in alot then all mixed together what, so you can just type in more numbers then can withdraw more money!”

Then she told me briefly about needing to type in your password so they will know how much you have and blablabla.
But I didnt know so deep about technology see, so I didnt get it.
And she gave up just there. Didnt bother explaining alr haha.

That question was stuck on my mind for days k, like 2 or 3 or 4 la.
& I thought about possibilities of how an ATM machine can work using the reasons that she gave about having your own account and all.
Well obviously I couldnt think further than having all the money from people mixed in one whole tank and then withdraw liddat hahaha.

I used to think of so many things and everything was unanswered, well almost everything.
So sad k ):

I think kids all want a reason for everything. Like, “dont touch! dont play! Keep quiet!”
I always wanna know why. But the reasons seldom came, or they were weird and no link reasons. So i just continued. Hahah. But really, children dont ask for much. Just a reason that is possible. Doesnt even need to be true lol. Gullible what.

So anw, I really believe in young lives haha both youth and children.
Impressionable people (:

We should start talking to them like they matter, they’re our future aren’t they?
Oh well, haha children rock